Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Sharing My Experience





They Will Follow





Yes Lord, I have been planning to do this for you and now it’s time. I can’t put it off any longer for fear that it will not be good enough. I know YOU are using me NOW to speak to someone.  Thank you Lord for prompting me with YOUR gentle spirit.
After following God and then “recommitting” my life more times that I can count, I still felt somewhat empty until I found my personal mentor. I started praying for someone to personally disciple me almost two years in advance of our first phone conversation.  But I knew God would provide for these needs in HIS time.

I decided to commit to the following and let God work miracles:
(1) ‘hold tight’ to his word
(2) ask and seek forgiveness when I fall….(i.e. humble myself)
(3) Seek first the kingdom of God!!  Not second or “sort of” first………but 100% first. 

  
What HE has revealed to me has literally changed my life---it’s been a total heart transplant.  He removed my old hard, critical, dissatisfied and prideful heart to place HIS heart to beat within my chest.  A miracle of Love that has no end and I took on a debt that I could never repay.

When considering “Seek first the kingdom of God and HIS Righteousness,” I began to understand that it was HIS righteousness and not my plan or idea of what should be right or even my limited understanding of ‘Righteousness”.  Rather it was a journey to search and learn about HIS ways and continue to dwell on the fact that HIS ways are always above any of my ways or thoughts in every avenue of my life.

This new process seemed like something that I could master…with a good deal of commitment and sheer determination. I began to see that God desired me to place HIM above my money, food, fortune, fame, personal ambitions, family, children, career, connections, friends, adventure, even best friends. (etc.) I realized that everything else had to MOVE over!  It sounds fair enough until you start to walk it out every day.  Each day brought many challenges and pivotal points with decisions.  Do I choose to sacrifice my selfishness or do I choose to hold on to the things that give me a false sense of security.
I began by studying scriptures daily after attending a Ladies Conference in Tulsa, Oklahoma when I was introduced to many amazing women.  But one spoke to my heart and stirred a deep desire within me. Her story motivated me to seek God and set out a personal plan to chart progress daily.  The plan was to read through the Bible daily each year and I held strong for 8 ½ years. I don’t share this to pat myself on the back but to share my determination to seek God and his wisdom for my life.  It was very tough!  And often I missed a few days and would work desperately to catch up, it also involved a daily journal process.  In my journal program, I answered her following questions: 

1.  What is God saying to me today?  (What touched me personally from my Bible reading today?)

2.  What am I saying to God today? (Write down my prayers).

3.  Who do I need to forgive today.  And who do I need to ask for their forgiveness today?

4. What dreams and visions had God being growing in my heart?
It was a major daily challenge for me. Honestly, I failed many times.  Asked for God’s forgiveness and pressed on!  In addition, I continue to fail daily and I've learned that failing is part of this process and if you begin to think you are not failing then it's time to examine your heart again.  

So, I said all that to let you know that God used this time to peel away layer after layer of my selfish and hard heart and began the process of planting great seeds in my broken soul.  Ironically, I was still living in a pit of sin but my feelings about my life had changed. Initially, I had feelings of being justified in my sin that soon progressed to feels of shame and sorrow.  Ultimately I learned that God loved me EXACTLY where I was but had bigger and better dreams for me!  Dreams to bless me and for me to be a blessing to others!  Before this transformation, I had little interest in blessing others but it grew to be something that was thrilling and personally rewarding in my life.

Being mentored has led me to understand that when I humble myself and confess my sins…as the scriptures say…HE is faithful and just to forgive me and to heal me.  In addition, it also broke down the walls that separated me from LOVE and provided a space for me to enter into intimacy with the Holy Spirit.  It was very difficult at first because I was competitive and naturally wanted to be right but that gave way as I saw new relationships grow and God’s Spirit move in and transform even the most difficult situations and release stubborn hard snags left in my heart.

While attending a Life Group meeting I shared my pain as I told of my troubled marriage and asked for prayers. There was no dramatic response---like “Let’s gather around and lay hands on you and pray until you feel God’s love.”  But it’s all in God’s perfect plan, after it was over, a gentleman approached me with a card saying something to the effect that he and his wife had struggled with some big problems and God had completely DELIVERED them.

That seed of Hope was planted at just the right time!!!  The man was my future mentor's husband and that evening I went to my car and cried---Thank You Lord…….I needed a real person to help me with all of this mess………and you have sent one.

Here is an insert from my mentor, Becky:

My husband and I began meeting with Shelley and her then-husband, Jaime, to see if we could help them move forward in their struggling marriage. As we continued to meet to counsel them, separately and as a couple, over several months it became apparent to all of us that Jaime was not on board with saving the marriage. He was continuing in sin patterns that were destructive and had no real desire to stop, so we sadly decided to stop counseling them. Shelley and I, however, had been making good progress and had a sweet relationship and we decided to continue through the Seven Steps to Freedom. Shelley was hungry and willing to do whatever it took to find freedom from guilt, shame, and unforgiveness. While I was deeply saddened that her marriage didn't survive, I knew she needed to find a solid place to stand with God if she was going to make a healthy life for herself. It is such a joy to counsel and pray with someone who is so transparent, so eager to let God change her! As you mentor, you will no doubt have disappointments and meet with discouragement, because not all want to be helped or want to do the hard emotional and spiritual work it takes to be set free. But when you come across those Shelleys, and you will, you will delight at watching transformation take place right in front of your eyes. What a treasure to be used by God in the process! It has been so rewarding to hear that Shelley is taking what God has done for her and reaching out to help others find freedom in Him. God is so good!
One little thing I will add-you don't have to be a spiritual giant, or to have it all together, to mentor someone else. I certainly would not fall into either of those categories. God just wants your willingness and your heart and for you to let him work through you.
Becky puts her whole heart into her work mentoring others. She always asks God for guidance and trusts that HE will guide us. I was awestruck to be mentored by such an experienced and transparent woman of God.  She handled every concern with great care, I knew that I was loved and valued in her presence.  Ultimately, she showed me how to care and love with a fresh purpose.  This has been the best gift I could have received in my life.  Therefore, I look forward to the opportunity to share this gift with others.

Thank you for allowing me to share a slice of what God has done with me.  May it be a blessing to you.  If you want this in your life....you ask our Heavenly Father and keep seeking...........it's a true blessing that never ends.

Love, Grace, Peace, Joy and Kindness...Until next time.